Our LID (Log in Date) was January 27, 2006. Because several friends and family are asking "so what's up with the adoption?" here is a great explanation of what that means:
Basically this means that we are now "standing in a long line" for our daughter. The current waiting time from log-in date to match is stretching beyond a year. Over the next year we will gage our progress by watching how quickly China matches children with parents with log-in dates before ours. The log-in date is the last Milestone Moment we will reach until we see that our dossier is being reviewed and then when a match is made and our referral is sent. If you are interested in seeing the website for the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) click http://www.china-ccaa.org/frames/index_unlogin_en.jsp . If you scroll down a little and look on the right hand side, you can track their progress.
Currently, they have completed sending referrals to families whose dossier was logged in on or before June 15, 2005 (that means those folks were told 6 months and it actually took closer to 11 months!).
They have completed reviewing dossiers received before Sept 30, 2005. I'm not sure what this means, but my guess is that people have looked over these dossiers to make sure they were complete and accurate.
So, like I said earlier, we had hoped for travel this summer or early fall. Then we hoped for a huge Christmas surprise, but now we are thinking that China in the spring might be lovely! Trying not to get to bummed about it. As always, there are plenty of things to keep us busy. I think that the hardest times will be each holiday that passes without her -- we laughed last Oct about what Ally would be for Halloween, we knew for sure that she remind us just how thankful we need to be at Thanksgiving, and we thought that this Christmas we would be reminded of God's love in a larger than life way. And not that we won't; it just won't be what we had planned or hoped for! Not much we can do but pray for her safety, well-being and that she being loved.
Our friends Debbie and Dan leave for China TODAY with their son Ian to meet their daughter LiLi. We are so excited for them!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
The Dust is Settling...
... in Sara's new room (and the rest of the house!). It isn't completely done yet, but it is close. We are going to pick up with where the builder's leave off and install the trim, doors, lighting, tile and paint. So that makes it sound like it will be a while! We hope to get all of this done over the summer! The 2 top pictures are as the room is now and the bottom one is of the attic before we started. Sara is looking a little sleepy one AM before school.
2 more days of school! We are ALL excited about that!
Weekend in KY
We went to KY for my neice's wedding. It was one of those moments that made us realize that we too are getting older! You see, she had been our flower girl in our wedding 18 years ago as a 6 year old! So, now Emily, fondly known as Minnie to family, is married. She and Nate looked very happy and the outdoor wedding was perfect! Sara and Lauren were "Rose Girls" -- passed out flowers as people entered and rose petals to "throw" as the couple left the reception! They were so excited to be included. A little girls dream!
Again - we are watching the CCAA website to see what progress they will make this month. Hopefully, it will be more than the week that they matched last month! I'm thinking they will update it this week. Every time is one step closer to "our turn" and to Ally being ours! Our friends Debbie and Dan are travelling to China this week! I'm so excited to hear how their trip goes and how LiLi adjusts! I can't imagine what they must be feeling - they will have her in exactly one week...
Monday, May 15, 2006
Pics of our DOSSIER, Cake, and Basket
We had the nicest surprise at the band banquet on Saturday night. The kids and their families had sent in gift cards for us (for Ally) and had a big cake that said "Welcome Ally to your Band Family". They presented us with a basket of gift cards! That was SO nice and such a surprise. We will save the gift cards until we get our referral and know how old and how big she is! I can't wait, but I have to!
I just figured out how to post pictures, so here are two of our dossier that was sent to China in January 2006. If you look closely, you can see the small picture of our family in the folder! Our agency added the little panda!
Sara and Lauren are counting down the days to summer - 7 more days of school. Soccer ended on Saturday and swim team started today -- it was terribly cold tonight in that water. I'm looking forward to summer, too.
The room in the attic is coming along nicely.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Current Favorite Song
Currently topping my personal list is this song. It was written by an adoptive father of 2 Chinese girls. I especially appreciate the line in the first part that refers to the wait (I put that line in red). I love the way the chorus changes so subtly throughout the song. I have it on continuous repeat on my MP3 player and listen to it over and over when I walk...
"Swept Away"
Written by Geoff Moore & Blair Masters
We would say your name
A hundred times a day
Like speaking words in faith
And with mixture of
Hope and fear and trust
We prayed for strength to wait
And dreamed of how we'd feel the day
You'd be in our arms and
Swept away
Caught up in our love
Home to stay
You'll never be alone
You'll be amazed
At how much you are loved
Life will never be the same
When you're swept away
What once was just a dream
Is reaching up for me
I hold her in my arms
Lord, thank you for the way
You held her all those days
That we had to be apart
And now I see the impossible dream
Is holding me and I'm
Swept away
Caught up in your love
Home to stay
I'll never be alone
And I'm amazed
In how much I am loved
Life will never be the same
I've been swept away
Swept away
Caught up in our love
Home to stay
I'll never be alone
And I'm amazed
In how much I am loved
Our lives will never be the same
Swept away
Caught up in our love
Home to stay
You'll never be alone
"Swept Away"
Written by Geoff Moore & Blair Masters
We would say your name
A hundred times a day
Like speaking words in faith
And with mixture of
Hope and fear and trust
We prayed for strength to wait
And dreamed of how we'd feel the day
You'd be in our arms and
Swept away
Caught up in our love
Home to stay
You'll never be alone
You'll be amazed
At how much you are loved
Life will never be the same
When you're swept away
What once was just a dream
Is reaching up for me
I hold her in my arms
Lord, thank you for the way
You held her all those days
That we had to be apart
And now I see the impossible dream
Is holding me and I'm
Swept away
Caught up in your love
Home to stay
I'll never be alone
And I'm amazed
In how much I am loved
Life will never be the same
I've been swept away
Swept away
Caught up in our love
Home to stay
I'll never be alone
And I'm amazed
In how much I am loved
Our lives will never be the same
Swept away
Caught up in our love
Home to stay
You'll never be alone
Reactions of our Families
The reactions from our family members were interesting. I don't mean that in a negative way at all, just interesting!
My (Lucy's) mom was somewhat surprised, and honestly somewhat skeptical. Mainly skeptical of the many "unknowns" that we might face. Her primary concern was how this will affect Sara and Lauren. Medical issues were next. She said nothing that we had not already thought of and discussed. She had met a couple a few years ago that had adopted from China and had since gone back for a second child. I think this helped her understand. She is supportive and excited about Ally (named somewhat for her mom, my grandma) and is happy to become a mema again! She watched the National Geographic DVD "China's Lost Daughters" and read the book Lost Daughters of China. My sisters were excited, but possibly shocked initially. E & Paul said they would have loved to have done it a few years ago! We did get a lot of laughs too! I understand -- here we are starting over. And there is the issue of that picture of all of Mom's grandchildren we orchestrated a few years ago... Never mind! Since Aunt Amy lives the closest, she has been pretty up to speed with the whole thing. Aunt Sally will have to come visit more!
Doug's mom and dad were excited and thought it was a great idea. His dad's main regret was that he would never meet her (he passed away last October). We showed his mom the video of Steven Curtis Chapman and Linzi's video. These videos are pretty amazing. Aunt Shelley (and others) asked "are you getting a boy?" When we explained a little of what is going on in China, they understood. We had (again naively) hoped to have her so they could come visit this summer! Grandma can't wait to swim again! His aunts and uncles and cousins are excited for us to travel and return!
My (Lucy's) mom was somewhat surprised, and honestly somewhat skeptical. Mainly skeptical of the many "unknowns" that we might face. Her primary concern was how this will affect Sara and Lauren. Medical issues were next. She said nothing that we had not already thought of and discussed. She had met a couple a few years ago that had adopted from China and had since gone back for a second child. I think this helped her understand. She is supportive and excited about Ally (named somewhat for her mom, my grandma) and is happy to become a mema again! She watched the National Geographic DVD "China's Lost Daughters" and read the book Lost Daughters of China. My sisters were excited, but possibly shocked initially. E & Paul said they would have loved to have done it a few years ago! We did get a lot of laughs too! I understand -- here we are starting over. And there is the issue of that picture of all of Mom's grandchildren we orchestrated a few years ago... Never mind! Since Aunt Amy lives the closest, she has been pretty up to speed with the whole thing. Aunt Sally will have to come visit more!
Doug's mom and dad were excited and thought it was a great idea. His dad's main regret was that he would never meet her (he passed away last October). We showed his mom the video of Steven Curtis Chapman and Linzi's video. These videos are pretty amazing. Aunt Shelley (and others) asked "are you getting a boy?" When we explained a little of what is going on in China, they understood. We had (again naively) hoped to have her so they could come visit this summer! Grandma can't wait to swim again! His aunts and uncles and cousins are excited for us to travel and return!
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Supportive Friends
Several people have been both supportive and influential in this decision:
Melissa and Chad -- Our dear friends of 16 (?) years with whom we hope to travel to China. If that all works out, our girls will most likely be in the same orphanage. We hope they will "know" each other and be friends and maybe that will help their adjustment in China to be a little smoother. We had a blast going to the Steven Curtis Chapman Christmas concert with them in Greenville back in Dec. There were lots of little girls to look at! We were pretty sad when they broke the news to us that they will be moving out of state this summer. We will miss them tons, but wish them the best. I guess we will now really have a unique bond with them that will keep us friends forever!
Randi and Joel -- Friends from SS that adopted domestically and have been such an encouragement during this whole process. Even though their "road" was different (they were not so fortunate to deal with the Dept of Homeland Security), they understand what we are going through on a different level. Randi is my personal cheerleader! I emailed her one day and said, "I need a cheer," and she promptly returned with a cheer!
"Ally, Ally, she's our girl!
There's no one else like her in the whole-wideworld!
She'll have black hair and a precious smile,
she'll be worth trecking everymile!
She'll make us laugh like never before,
we'll learn the true meaning of the word 'adore'."
Jennifer and Greg -- I don't even remember how or when we found out that they were interested in adopting. They are friends from swim team. It must have been from our Christmas card! She emailed me and told me that she would love to adopt and that she and her husband were praying for direction in that area. They have since applied with an agency to adopt a little boy from Guatemala! She is a web-xpert and has given me lots of neat sites to check out, not to mention a e-shoulder to cry on for support!
Debbie and Dan -- We met them for the first time briefly at a Hope for Children meeting before Christmas. We talked to them some more at a "waiting families" meeting hosted by Hope in Feb and exchanged emails. They were only one month ahead of us (with a Dec 2005 DTC/LID), but they found their daughter on Hope's Waiting Child list and are travelling to meet LiLi at the end of THIS month! We have since met them (and son, Ian) for dinner twice and enjoyed an evening with several families that meet in Kennesaw on the first Friday of each month. This is a casual gathering of families who have already adopted from China or who are somewhere in the process. We went last week and really enjoyed it. While the conversation was great, my favorite part was watching Sara and Lauren interact with the little girls that were there! They loved it!
Lisa -- a teacher with whom I work. One day while visiting her school, I told her we had some big news. Of course her first question was, "are you pregnant?" My reply was "No, but we are adding to our family." Her reaction was so unique; it was as if her breath was taken away. She said, "You're adopting?" She was quite shaken and said she would love to do that (her daughters are grown). She was so supportive and thoughtful. For Christmas, she gave me a ladybug bracelet that I love to wear. Ladybugs are considered good luck in China!
A Mall Playgroup -- We were invited to stop by a playgroup of little Chinese girls that meets on a weekly basis at an indoor playground at our mall. Doug, Lauren and I (Sara was with a friend) went to "observe" one day during spring break. We just sat outside the play area watching (some might say stalking). They were so cute -- little girls that ranged from about 1 year to 6 years old. Lauren decided she would venture into the play area and before she knew it, she had a fan club and was pulled into a game of 'house' --- she was the mom and a teeny little girl who was 2 and might have weighed 20 pounds at most was the dad! They were so cute and she had fun! We talked to several of the moms and it turns out that Doug knew one of them --he had taught her high school daughter! I went back one more time with Sheryl and Linzi and enjoyed talking to everyone!
Melissa and Chad -- Our dear friends of 16 (?) years with whom we hope to travel to China. If that all works out, our girls will most likely be in the same orphanage. We hope they will "know" each other and be friends and maybe that will help their adjustment in China to be a little smoother. We had a blast going to the Steven Curtis Chapman Christmas concert with them in Greenville back in Dec. There were lots of little girls to look at! We were pretty sad when they broke the news to us that they will be moving out of state this summer. We will miss them tons, but wish them the best. I guess we will now really have a unique bond with them that will keep us friends forever!
Randi and Joel -- Friends from SS that adopted domestically and have been such an encouragement during this whole process. Even though their "road" was different (they were not so fortunate to deal with the Dept of Homeland Security), they understand what we are going through on a different level. Randi is my personal cheerleader! I emailed her one day and said, "I need a cheer," and she promptly returned with a cheer!
"Ally, Ally, she's our girl!
There's no one else like her in the whole-wideworld!
She'll have black hair and a precious smile,
she'll be worth trecking everymile!
She'll make us laugh like never before,
we'll learn the true meaning of the word 'adore'."
Jennifer and Greg -- I don't even remember how or when we found out that they were interested in adopting. They are friends from swim team. It must have been from our Christmas card! She emailed me and told me that she would love to adopt and that she and her husband were praying for direction in that area. They have since applied with an agency to adopt a little boy from Guatemala! She is a web-xpert and has given me lots of neat sites to check out, not to mention a e-shoulder to cry on for support!
Debbie and Dan -- We met them for the first time briefly at a Hope for Children meeting before Christmas. We talked to them some more at a "waiting families" meeting hosted by Hope in Feb and exchanged emails. They were only one month ahead of us (with a Dec 2005 DTC/LID), but they found their daughter on Hope's Waiting Child list and are travelling to meet LiLi at the end of THIS month! We have since met them (and son, Ian) for dinner twice and enjoyed an evening with several families that meet in Kennesaw on the first Friday of each month. This is a casual gathering of families who have already adopted from China or who are somewhere in the process. We went last week and really enjoyed it. While the conversation was great, my favorite part was watching Sara and Lauren interact with the little girls that were there! They loved it!
Lisa -- a teacher with whom I work. One day while visiting her school, I told her we had some big news. Of course her first question was, "are you pregnant?" My reply was "No, but we are adding to our family." Her reaction was so unique; it was as if her breath was taken away. She said, "You're adopting?" She was quite shaken and said she would love to do that (her daughters are grown). She was so supportive and thoughtful. For Christmas, she gave me a ladybug bracelet that I love to wear. Ladybugs are considered good luck in China!
A Mall Playgroup -- We were invited to stop by a playgroup of little Chinese girls that meets on a weekly basis at an indoor playground at our mall. Doug, Lauren and I (Sara was with a friend) went to "observe" one day during spring break. We just sat outside the play area watching (some might say stalking). They were so cute -- little girls that ranged from about 1 year to 6 years old. Lauren decided she would venture into the play area and before she knew it, she had a fan club and was pulled into a game of 'house' --- she was the mom and a teeny little girl who was 2 and might have weighed 20 pounds at most was the dad! They were so cute and she had fun! We talked to several of the moms and it turns out that Doug knew one of them --he had taught her high school daughter! I went back one more time with Sheryl and Linzi and enjoyed talking to everyone!
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
The Wait Continues
WAITING…
At times the days go quickly, and at times, they seem to drag. We think of her every day and talk about her as if we know her. We imagine what it will be like… on the plane, in China, the day her nanny or foster mom hands her to us, when she plays with her new big sisters, when she sleeps in the hotel room, her first flight (about 19 hours), and just day to day life at home.
We have no idea when we will get her. Like I said earlier, we naively thought it could be this summer. Then we thought maybe late summer, then it turned into maybe October, then December became a real possibility. It was getting harder. We never dreamed that Christmas of 2006 would come without her being with us; but at this point (May 2006), it is likely to be next spring. I hate to think of going longer than that, but what else can I do but wait?
Actually, there is a lot to do. I certainly don’t want to spend this time while we wait being miserable. I want to enjoy and treasure these days with Doug and our two girls. I want Sara and Lauren to be so sure that this is a family decision and that we love them so very much. We want to make sure that these days aren’t wasted. Yes, there is a lot to do, but those things will happen. Our girls will only be 9 and 12 for this year, so I don’t want to miss that. It’s hard to wait, but we have no choice. It becomes a huge test of faith – sometimes I pass, sometimes I fail; sometimes it makes me mad, sometimes I’m OK with it.
Our big project is Sara’s room. We are adding a room in the attic for Sara. With the age difference between Lauren and Ally being at least 6 years, we thought it was best to come up with alternative rooming arrangements. So, Sara’s big room was started in early April of 2006 and our house has been a dusty mess since then!
This brings me up-to-date with our process... I'm sure I'll remember things that happened over the past 9 months and I'll add them as I go.
At times the days go quickly, and at times, they seem to drag. We think of her every day and talk about her as if we know her. We imagine what it will be like… on the plane, in China, the day her nanny or foster mom hands her to us, when she plays with her new big sisters, when she sleeps in the hotel room, her first flight (about 19 hours), and just day to day life at home.
We have no idea when we will get her. Like I said earlier, we naively thought it could be this summer. Then we thought maybe late summer, then it turned into maybe October, then December became a real possibility. It was getting harder. We never dreamed that Christmas of 2006 would come without her being with us; but at this point (May 2006), it is likely to be next spring. I hate to think of going longer than that, but what else can I do but wait?
Actually, there is a lot to do. I certainly don’t want to spend this time while we wait being miserable. I want to enjoy and treasure these days with Doug and our two girls. I want Sara and Lauren to be so sure that this is a family decision and that we love them so very much. We want to make sure that these days aren’t wasted. Yes, there is a lot to do, but those things will happen. Our girls will only be 9 and 12 for this year, so I don’t want to miss that. It’s hard to wait, but we have no choice. It becomes a huge test of faith – sometimes I pass, sometimes I fail; sometimes it makes me mad, sometimes I’m OK with it.
Our big project is Sara’s room. We are adding a room in the attic for Sara. With the age difference between Lauren and Ally being at least 6 years, we thought it was best to come up with alternative rooming arrangements. So, Sara’s big room was started in early April of 2006 and our house has been a dusty mess since then!
This brings me up-to-date with our process... I'm sure I'll remember things that happened over the past 9 months and I'll add them as I go.
How it all started (part 7) ... Why China?
(note -- On all of the entries that begin with "How is all started...", you might want to scroll down to the first one and read them in reverse order!)
WHY CHINA?
We have been asked this on numerous occasions. The favorite observation is “so you’re finally going to have a kid with black hair!” That is pretty cool, but there is more to it than that. We were also asked, “why not just have another one?” Well, I knew the answer to that one! It never at any point was about either of us regretting not giving birth to a 3rd child. But it was about us having another child.
We had heard about the “one child policy” that was enforced in China to attempt to control the population. We learned that there were thousands of healthy little girls that were abandoned each year simply because they were born female. There are a few little boys in the orphanage, but most of these are children born with some type of special need (some severe and some slight).
I can’t imagine reaching the decision as a mom to give up my child, but there is much more to it than that. There is little value placed on having daughters and the family name is so important. I don’t understand their culture at all and don’t pretend to. What a sad, desperate, dark day (or most likely night) for a mom to walk away from her little girl, knowing she will never see her again.
Because it is illegal for parents to abandon children in China, there is no family or medical history for these little girls. There will be no information on her parents’ medical condition. Her birthday may be a guess. At best we might have a note written by a parent or relative. We will have no answers for her when she asks us these questions. We will know that her birth mom did not want to give her up. We will reassure Ally that her birth mom loved her and wanted to take care of her, but she couldn’t. We will know that she was sure that a family would take care of and love her little girl. And she was right.
WHY CHINA?
We have been asked this on numerous occasions. The favorite observation is “so you’re finally going to have a kid with black hair!” That is pretty cool, but there is more to it than that. We were also asked, “why not just have another one?” Well, I knew the answer to that one! It never at any point was about either of us regretting not giving birth to a 3rd child. But it was about us having another child.
We had heard about the “one child policy” that was enforced in China to attempt to control the population. We learned that there were thousands of healthy little girls that were abandoned each year simply because they were born female. There are a few little boys in the orphanage, but most of these are children born with some type of special need (some severe and some slight).
I can’t imagine reaching the decision as a mom to give up my child, but there is much more to it than that. There is little value placed on having daughters and the family name is so important. I don’t understand their culture at all and don’t pretend to. What a sad, desperate, dark day (or most likely night) for a mom to walk away from her little girl, knowing she will never see her again.
Because it is illegal for parents to abandon children in China, there is no family or medical history for these little girls. There will be no information on her parents’ medical condition. Her birthday may be a guess. At best we might have a note written by a parent or relative. We will have no answers for her when she asks us these questions. We will know that her birth mom did not want to give her up. We will reassure Ally that her birth mom loved her and wanted to take care of her, but she couldn’t. We will know that she was sure that a family would take care of and love her little girl. And she was right.
How it all started (part 6)...
MORE OF THE PROCESS…
I continued to be hooked on the adoption websites, following them and feeling as if I somewhat knew these families. Some days I still couldn’t believe this was real. I remember being at the soccer fields for Lauren’s practice in the fall and seeing a lady trying to push her stroller over the grassy field. Kind of a reality moment hit me. Another moment was in Walmart as I walked by the baby department. I had kept nothing! I really felt like we were starting over! Well, we were.
A funny thing happened for my mom one night at church. She ran into the aunt of my high school best friend. She asked how Doug and I were doing, and my mom said we were fine. She asked about Angie and her husband. Angie's aunt said, "you won't believe what she and Victor are doing. They are going to China to adopt a little girl!" So, my mom was probably fairly shocked and said that we were doing the same thing! Angie and I had lost touch over the years, with the exception of a Christmas each year, so we have re-connected over something that we have in common after all these years!
When we submitted our application to adopt (in August 2005) we were told that the process was taking about 6-8 months between the time the completed dossier was sent to China until we would receive our referral. So, I naïvely thought that we would be DTC (Dossier to China) in Novemer and would travel to get her in the summer of 2006. We were concerned that it would conflict with our family beach trip or with band camp, but quickly determined that we would work around it! We have no say in the timing of our trip to China – we go when they say to go.
During this time, a little girl who was literally half a world away and that we had never seen, became our daughter. Our little girl named Ally. Still moments of disbelief, but slowly I became comfortable with the whole idea. (We will wait until we get her referral to decide on a middle name. We may keep part of her Chinese name or we may not.)
After several delays that were out of our control, our dossier was actually sent to China on January 13, 2006 (DTC) and we got a log-in date (LID) of January 27, 2006. Finally, our official wait had begun (after 5 months of waiting unofficially). So, we finished jumping through the USA hoops for the time being, and now had to just wait on China. Now, the length of time to referral had extended to 10 months. We are able to check the status of our LID on a website – China Center for Adoption Affairs.
I continued to be hooked on the adoption websites, following them and feeling as if I somewhat knew these families. Some days I still couldn’t believe this was real. I remember being at the soccer fields for Lauren’s practice in the fall and seeing a lady trying to push her stroller over the grassy field. Kind of a reality moment hit me. Another moment was in Walmart as I walked by the baby department. I had kept nothing! I really felt like we were starting over! Well, we were.
A funny thing happened for my mom one night at church. She ran into the aunt of my high school best friend. She asked how Doug and I were doing, and my mom said we were fine. She asked about Angie and her husband. Angie's aunt said, "you won't believe what she and Victor are doing. They are going to China to adopt a little girl!" So, my mom was probably fairly shocked and said that we were doing the same thing! Angie and I had lost touch over the years, with the exception of a Christmas each year, so we have re-connected over something that we have in common after all these years!
When we submitted our application to adopt (in August 2005) we were told that the process was taking about 6-8 months between the time the completed dossier was sent to China until we would receive our referral. So, I naïvely thought that we would be DTC (Dossier to China) in Novemer and would travel to get her in the summer of 2006. We were concerned that it would conflict with our family beach trip or with band camp, but quickly determined that we would work around it! We have no say in the timing of our trip to China – we go when they say to go.
During this time, a little girl who was literally half a world away and that we had never seen, became our daughter. Our little girl named Ally. Still moments of disbelief, but slowly I became comfortable with the whole idea. (We will wait until we get her referral to decide on a middle name. We may keep part of her Chinese name or we may not.)
After several delays that were out of our control, our dossier was actually sent to China on January 13, 2006 (DTC) and we got a log-in date (LID) of January 27, 2006. Finally, our official wait had begun (after 5 months of waiting unofficially). So, we finished jumping through the USA hoops for the time being, and now had to just wait on China. Now, the length of time to referral had extended to 10 months. We are able to check the status of our LID on a website – China Center for Adoption Affairs.
How it all started (part 5)... The Home Study
One of the most interesting parts of the whole process was our “home study”. This was a series of interviews to basically see if we were really serious about this and if we had really thought it through. Karen, our social worker, was great. She was easy to talk to and gave us so much valuable insight. We were sure we had thought this through pretty well, but some of her questions made us realize that we needed to think some more. Like, “How do you feel about being a mixed race family?” “How do you feel about her birth mother?” “How will you deal with the day she asks you about her birth mother and you won’t be able to tell her any details?”
For the home study, Doug and I met with Karen together twice and then each by ourselves and once at our house with the girls. Of course, this proved to be interesting! We didn’t really “prep” the girls too much because we didn’t want them to sound rehearsed.
Karen started with Sara. She asked her what she liked to do. Sara said exactly what I expected, “I like to swim, jump on the trampoline, play the flute, and play with my friends.” Perfect answer. Then it was Lauren’s turn for the same question. She looked right at Karen and, in a matter of fact way, said, “I like to clean the chimney.” At that, Karen kind of chuckled and looked at us. I knew exactly what Lauren so innocently meant, but I’m sure the sound of an 8 year old liking to clean the chimney sounded somewhat unusual. Doug laughed and said, “Tell her how you like to mop the floors too, Cinderella.” Lauren went on to explain how she like to use the little shovel to scoop out ashes from the fireplace. I guess she had a little too much time to think about her answer!
She also asked the girls what they liked best about our family. Their answers were going camping and going to the beach and going to 6 Flags. Karen’s next question to Sara was, “Why do you think your parents want to adopt?” Without hesitation, Sara said, “My mom wants to shop at Gymboree again because my sister and I are too big to shop there anymore.” Where did this come from? It actually did come from me, because every time we walk by that store I pretend to pull the girls in. A few days before this particular interview with Karen, I embarrassed them at the mall by saying “now I get to shop at Gymboree again”! I suppose that made an impression on Sara and she decided to share it that day. So funny. Thankfully, Karen had a good sense of humor!
Sadly, the completion of our home study was postponed due to the illness and death of Doug’s dad in Ohio. He was very supportive in our decision to adopt and he was sad that he knew he would never know this little granddaughter. We miss him…
For the home study, Doug and I met with Karen together twice and then each by ourselves and once at our house with the girls. Of course, this proved to be interesting! We didn’t really “prep” the girls too much because we didn’t want them to sound rehearsed.
Karen started with Sara. She asked her what she liked to do. Sara said exactly what I expected, “I like to swim, jump on the trampoline, play the flute, and play with my friends.” Perfect answer. Then it was Lauren’s turn for the same question. She looked right at Karen and, in a matter of fact way, said, “I like to clean the chimney.” At that, Karen kind of chuckled and looked at us. I knew exactly what Lauren so innocently meant, but I’m sure the sound of an 8 year old liking to clean the chimney sounded somewhat unusual. Doug laughed and said, “Tell her how you like to mop the floors too, Cinderella.” Lauren went on to explain how she like to use the little shovel to scoop out ashes from the fireplace. I guess she had a little too much time to think about her answer!
She also asked the girls what they liked best about our family. Their answers were going camping and going to the beach and going to 6 Flags. Karen’s next question to Sara was, “Why do you think your parents want to adopt?” Without hesitation, Sara said, “My mom wants to shop at Gymboree again because my sister and I are too big to shop there anymore.” Where did this come from? It actually did come from me, because every time we walk by that store I pretend to pull the girls in. A few days before this particular interview with Karen, I embarrassed them at the mall by saying “now I get to shop at Gymboree again”! I suppose that made an impression on Sara and she decided to share it that day. So funny. Thankfully, Karen had a good sense of humor!
Sadly, the completion of our home study was postponed due to the illness and death of Doug’s dad in Ohio. He was very supportive in our decision to adopt and he was sad that he knew he would never know this little granddaughter. We miss him…
How it all started (part 4)... The Paperchase
(note -- On all of the entries that begin with "How is all started...", you might want to scroll down to the first one and read them in reverse order!)
THE PAPERCHASE…
Let’s see – the paperchase… part of our challenge was to catch up with our friends Chad and Melissa, because at that point I was determined to be on the plane with them! So I put that into overdrive as best I could.
We had to collect the following:
application for adoption
3 birth certificates of each of us
1 birth certificate of each of the girls
3 marriage certificates
employment verification letters
5 "character" reference letters from Tara, Chad and Melissa, Joy, Doug’s principal, and my sister Ellen
passports
pet immunization records
septic tank inspection
medical exam for each of us
fingerprinting and police clearance
bank statements tax returns for 2 years
declaration of guardianship and a letter from guardian
pictures of our family
5 meetings/interviews with a social worker (3 down, 2 to go)
(the following was in an email “announcement” to some friends)
All of the above were collected, in addition to our "Home Study" and some other Immigration/Dept of Homeland Security documents, and compiled into what is called a "dossier". This is what is sent to China and will be used to find a match for ourfamily! There are still many questions to which "we don't know" is the answer -- when will we travel and how old will she be? We requested an 18 month up to 3 year old. Most babies become "adoptable" between 10-12 months. Please pray for us in this journey -- and please pray for the little girl that will become part of our family, and for her care-givers. I know this may seem strange, but we are praying for her birthmother - that somehow she will find peace in knowing that her little girl will be in a family that loves her very much. I can't imagine that pain that she went through in order to give her little girl a chance at living. It is quite humbling to think that she is already there --- in some orphanage or foster home right now. We think of her often, as China is about 14 hours ahead of our eastern time zone. Her name will be Ally -- middle name is still TBA. We are so thankful that God has given us this opportunity! My mom says that I'm finally going to have a child with black hair -- pretty crazy that we have to go around the world to find her!
THE PAPERCHASE…
Let’s see – the paperchase… part of our challenge was to catch up with our friends Chad and Melissa, because at that point I was determined to be on the plane with them! So I put that into overdrive as best I could.
We had to collect the following:
application for adoption
3 birth certificates of each of us
1 birth certificate of each of the girls
3 marriage certificates
employment verification letters
5 "character" reference letters from Tara, Chad and Melissa, Joy, Doug’s principal, and my sister Ellen
passports
pet immunization records
septic tank inspection
medical exam for each of us
fingerprinting and police clearance
bank statements tax returns for 2 years
declaration of guardianship and a letter from guardian
pictures of our family
5 meetings/interviews with a social worker (3 down, 2 to go)
(the following was in an email “announcement” to some friends)
All of the above were collected, in addition to our "Home Study" and some other Immigration/Dept of Homeland Security documents, and compiled into what is called a "dossier". This is what is sent to China and will be used to find a match for ourfamily! There are still many questions to which "we don't know" is the answer -- when will we travel and how old will she be? We requested an 18 month up to 3 year old. Most babies become "adoptable" between 10-12 months. Please pray for us in this journey -- and please pray for the little girl that will become part of our family, and for her care-givers. I know this may seem strange, but we are praying for her birthmother - that somehow she will find peace in knowing that her little girl will be in a family that loves her very much. I can't imagine that pain that she went through in order to give her little girl a chance at living. It is quite humbling to think that she is already there --- in some orphanage or foster home right now. We think of her often, as China is about 14 hours ahead of our eastern time zone. Her name will be Ally -- middle name is still TBA. We are so thankful that God has given us this opportunity! My mom says that I'm finally going to have a child with black hair -- pretty crazy that we have to go around the world to find her!
How it all started (part 3)...
(note -- On all of the entries that begin with "How is all started...", you might want to scroll down to the first one and read them in reverse order!)
FINALLY, THE DECISION…
Well, lots of discussion, reading and praying later and after watching that video of Linzi’s orphanage, Doug looked at me and said that all of the reasons he had for not doing this were totally selfish. At that point, me still a bit stunned, we decided to adopt!
So, where do we go from here? We contacted Hope for Children and requested a packet to begin the preparation of our dossier, which is (I’m sure) French for “large stack of official documents.” This part of the process began in August of 2005. In the adoption community it’s called the “paperchase.”
Now we got to see some interesting reactions from our friends and family. Wow – what a big announcement! Of course, Sara and Lauren were the first to know; although, to them it was more like, “finally, we are going to do this!” Lauren just kept smiling and saying “are we REALLY going to do this?” over and over again, for many days. I just kept saying, “yes, we REALLY are!” She just couldn’t believe it! For many days, neither could I! I was very excited and somewhat shocked at the same time. We were actually filling out an application to adopt from China!
I quickly got “hooked” on several adoption websites that allowed you to “follow” other peoples’ journeys through China – some waiting to travel, some who were there, and others who were already home. It was amazing to think that these people were so far ahead of us (we had no idea of how long it would take).
I’m not sure we ever really told Chad and Melissa, it just became what were going to do! We called Grandpa and Grandma in Ohio and they were very excited. We called Mema in Milledgeville and she had a lot of questions. We called the rest of the family. Overall, they were excited and supportive. Of course, we don’t know what they said when they hung up the phone! Anyway, now came the fun part of “spreading the word” and my problem was that I could barely say the words without tearing up. Kind of hard to explain when fighting back tears.
I knew I owed a personal “announcement” to my friend Randi, so I stopped by her school and knocked on her classroom door. It must have been written all over my face, because it was like she knew what I was going to tell her before I could even say it! I think I said something like “we’re going to China!” through the tears! She gave me a big hug and we went to chat! She told me some amazing things, like the first time that Doug held Shelbi in SS that she knew he would come around to this – she said she “saw it in his eyes”. I was amazed, yet again. Part of me still couldn’t believe the words I was saying. We went to lunch with them shortly after that and they gave us Ally’s first gift – a cuddly little doggie with a little attached blanket, and the best part was that Ally’s name was sewn on it! Yeah, her first “lovey”.
FINALLY, THE DECISION…
Well, lots of discussion, reading and praying later and after watching that video of Linzi’s orphanage, Doug looked at me and said that all of the reasons he had for not doing this were totally selfish. At that point, me still a bit stunned, we decided to adopt!
So, where do we go from here? We contacted Hope for Children and requested a packet to begin the preparation of our dossier, which is (I’m sure) French for “large stack of official documents.” This part of the process began in August of 2005. In the adoption community it’s called the “paperchase.”
Now we got to see some interesting reactions from our friends and family. Wow – what a big announcement! Of course, Sara and Lauren were the first to know; although, to them it was more like, “finally, we are going to do this!” Lauren just kept smiling and saying “are we REALLY going to do this?” over and over again, for many days. I just kept saying, “yes, we REALLY are!” She just couldn’t believe it! For many days, neither could I! I was very excited and somewhat shocked at the same time. We were actually filling out an application to adopt from China!
I quickly got “hooked” on several adoption websites that allowed you to “follow” other peoples’ journeys through China – some waiting to travel, some who were there, and others who were already home. It was amazing to think that these people were so far ahead of us (we had no idea of how long it would take).
I’m not sure we ever really told Chad and Melissa, it just became what were going to do! We called Grandpa and Grandma in Ohio and they were very excited. We called Mema in Milledgeville and she had a lot of questions. We called the rest of the family. Overall, they were excited and supportive. Of course, we don’t know what they said when they hung up the phone! Anyway, now came the fun part of “spreading the word” and my problem was that I could barely say the words without tearing up. Kind of hard to explain when fighting back tears.
I knew I owed a personal “announcement” to my friend Randi, so I stopped by her school and knocked on her classroom door. It must have been written all over my face, because it was like she knew what I was going to tell her before I could even say it! I think I said something like “we’re going to China!” through the tears! She gave me a big hug and we went to chat! She told me some amazing things, like the first time that Doug held Shelbi in SS that she knew he would come around to this – she said she “saw it in his eyes”. I was amazed, yet again. Part of me still couldn’t believe the words I was saying. We went to lunch with them shortly after that and they gave us Ally’s first gift – a cuddly little doggie with a little attached blanket, and the best part was that Ally’s name was sewn on it! Yeah, her first “lovey”.
How it all started (part 2)...
(note -- On all of the entries that begin with "How is all started...", you might want to scroll down to the first one and read them in reverse order!)
ALMOST THERE…(the decision)
So, fast forward a little more to July, 2005 … I was in Florida for a convention with work. I specifically remember being in one of the big meetings sitting next to Tara (my GA TPC buddy) and turning around and seeing a little girl who was obviously adopted sitting with her parents. She was about 6 years old. I pointed her out to Tara. When I flew home to Atlanta, Doug picked me up at the airport. The girls had gone to summer church camp, and we planned to go out to dinner in downtown to celebrate our anniversary.
Doug surprised me. He had made arrangements with some of our best friends, Chad and Melissa, to meet at Chastain Park for dinner and a concert. He had cooked the entire dinner and taken it to their house, so it would be a surprise for me! What I didn’t know at the time was that he had had a lengthy phone conversation with Melissa. He told her that we had recently bought a house to fix up and resell. They laughed because Chad had been looking into doing that too. Then, Melissa told Doug that she had some news for us. His immediate conclusion was that she was expecting another baby. She said “no”. Doug’s next question was, “Are you going to China to adopt?” Surprised that he would guess that, she said “YES”! At that point Doug laughed and said something like “we’ll be on that plane with you. Lucy would love to do that too! I can’t believe this!” (Doug told me none of this.)
So, we met them for dinner and during the course of the meal, Melissa looked at me and said, “We have some news.” I said, “Are you pregnant?” She said, “No.” I asked, “Are you going to China to adopt a little girl?” Surprised again, she said, “How do you all do that? Doug asked me the same questions on the phone!” She told us some of the details that had brought them to this decision. Doug is again saying, “We’ll be on the plane with you.” I was somewhat stunned and not really sure what HE meant! Happy for them, yet a little envious that some of our best friends were doing what I had wanted to do for several years, but had convinced myself that we had missed the opportunity.
The next day, I remember being in the car near the Mall of Ga and saying to Doug, “I’m perfectly happy with our family just the way it is,” again convincing myself that it was true.
When we got home we looked at the website for Hope for Children (the agency our friends were using) we found that in order to get any real info, we had to provide our names and contact info. I knew that this would generate a phone call from the agency. I had no idea what I would say when they called. “Oh, we’re just curious.” I still did not get my hopes up. Doug rarely brought up the topic… I was convinced that I was not going to try to talk him into this. I knew it had to come from within him. That was hard to do…I remember one night in particular that I couldn’t sleep – I was consumed, but still not talking about it. I just prayed that God would put this in his heart OR that He would take the desire away from me. Either way, I knew I couldn’t go on in the shape I was in…
I called Sheryl (the Brownie cookie mom with Linzi) just to ask her a few questions, still not saying that this was something we were really looking into. She was very helpful and said that their decision had come in a similar way. She sent me a link to their videos of Linzi’s adoption. I looked at that and started crying again (this was becoming a regular occurrence for me for several weeks). The sight of those little girls, sitting 2 to a crib, with a few nannies to care for them was heartbreaking. The video of the moment they “got” Linzi put me over the top. I must have watched it 5 times in a row. So, I just went ahead and sent it to Doug at work. That night we watched it together. He said he had watched it in his office and cried. We showed it to the girls and they were asking, “why don’t we just do it mom? You know it would be great. There might be a little girl in China who needs to be in our family.” It seemed so simple and so logical to them. We tried to explain that it was a very big decision that would change so much about our family. Not to try to talk them out of it, but to help them to realize that things would change!
Then things got crazy. We saw a documentary (Prime Time or Date Line) on a photographer in NYC that was doing an exhibit on children who were in need of a home. My friend Randi sent me an email and the last sentence randomly read “God told me you all need to go to China to adopt a little girl.” The next Sat AM, the "Wiggles" were talking about adoption. The girls weren’t even in the room, just Doug and I, so we just started laughing. I just looked at the ceiling and said, kind of jokingly, “We get it! OK! We get it,” as if to let God know that we were hearing Him!
Later that night Doug asked me the loaded question, “If I was to say I was ready to do this, would you be 100%?” Wow, talk about turning the tables! At that point I had to say, “No.” Mainly because I had not let myself even look into any details. It was at this point that we had our first REALLY serious conversation and discussed “what if…” for real! I remember sitting on the sofa in disbelief – could he really be considering actually doing this? I just tried not to smile too much! Sounds silly, huh?
ALMOST THERE…(the decision)
So, fast forward a little more to July, 2005 … I was in Florida for a convention with work. I specifically remember being in one of the big meetings sitting next to Tara (my GA TPC buddy) and turning around and seeing a little girl who was obviously adopted sitting with her parents. She was about 6 years old. I pointed her out to Tara. When I flew home to Atlanta, Doug picked me up at the airport. The girls had gone to summer church camp, and we planned to go out to dinner in downtown to celebrate our anniversary.
Doug surprised me. He had made arrangements with some of our best friends, Chad and Melissa, to meet at Chastain Park for dinner and a concert. He had cooked the entire dinner and taken it to their house, so it would be a surprise for me! What I didn’t know at the time was that he had had a lengthy phone conversation with Melissa. He told her that we had recently bought a house to fix up and resell. They laughed because Chad had been looking into doing that too. Then, Melissa told Doug that she had some news for us. His immediate conclusion was that she was expecting another baby. She said “no”. Doug’s next question was, “Are you going to China to adopt?” Surprised that he would guess that, she said “YES”! At that point Doug laughed and said something like “we’ll be on that plane with you. Lucy would love to do that too! I can’t believe this!” (Doug told me none of this.)
So, we met them for dinner and during the course of the meal, Melissa looked at me and said, “We have some news.” I said, “Are you pregnant?” She said, “No.” I asked, “Are you going to China to adopt a little girl?” Surprised again, she said, “How do you all do that? Doug asked me the same questions on the phone!” She told us some of the details that had brought them to this decision. Doug is again saying, “We’ll be on the plane with you.” I was somewhat stunned and not really sure what HE meant! Happy for them, yet a little envious that some of our best friends were doing what I had wanted to do for several years, but had convinced myself that we had missed the opportunity.
The next day, I remember being in the car near the Mall of Ga and saying to Doug, “I’m perfectly happy with our family just the way it is,” again convincing myself that it was true.
When we got home we looked at the website for Hope for Children (the agency our friends were using) we found that in order to get any real info, we had to provide our names and contact info. I knew that this would generate a phone call from the agency. I had no idea what I would say when they called. “Oh, we’re just curious.” I still did not get my hopes up. Doug rarely brought up the topic… I was convinced that I was not going to try to talk him into this. I knew it had to come from within him. That was hard to do…I remember one night in particular that I couldn’t sleep – I was consumed, but still not talking about it. I just prayed that God would put this in his heart OR that He would take the desire away from me. Either way, I knew I couldn’t go on in the shape I was in…
I called Sheryl (the Brownie cookie mom with Linzi) just to ask her a few questions, still not saying that this was something we were really looking into. She was very helpful and said that their decision had come in a similar way. She sent me a link to their videos of Linzi’s adoption. I looked at that and started crying again (this was becoming a regular occurrence for me for several weeks). The sight of those little girls, sitting 2 to a crib, with a few nannies to care for them was heartbreaking. The video of the moment they “got” Linzi put me over the top. I must have watched it 5 times in a row. So, I just went ahead and sent it to Doug at work. That night we watched it together. He said he had watched it in his office and cried. We showed it to the girls and they were asking, “why don’t we just do it mom? You know it would be great. There might be a little girl in China who needs to be in our family.” It seemed so simple and so logical to them. We tried to explain that it was a very big decision that would change so much about our family. Not to try to talk them out of it, but to help them to realize that things would change!
Then things got crazy. We saw a documentary (Prime Time or Date Line) on a photographer in NYC that was doing an exhibit on children who were in need of a home. My friend Randi sent me an email and the last sentence randomly read “God told me you all need to go to China to adopt a little girl.” The next Sat AM, the "Wiggles" were talking about adoption. The girls weren’t even in the room, just Doug and I, so we just started laughing. I just looked at the ceiling and said, kind of jokingly, “We get it! OK! We get it,” as if to let God know that we were hearing Him!
Later that night Doug asked me the loaded question, “If I was to say I was ready to do this, would you be 100%?” Wow, talk about turning the tables! At that point I had to say, “No.” Mainly because I had not let myself even look into any details. It was at this point that we had our first REALLY serious conversation and discussed “what if…” for real! I remember sitting on the sofa in disbelief – could he really be considering actually doing this? I just tried not to smile too much! Sounds silly, huh?
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
How it all started...
In August of 2001 (about 4.5 years ago) we surprised Sara with tickets to see Steven Curtis Chapman in concert for her 8th birthday. We spent the day in Helen, GA and then drove up to the Ga Mountain Fairgrounds for the concert. At that time, we just knew a few of his songs (he is a contemporary Christian singer). About half way through his concert he sang a song that he had written in honor of his adopted daughter from China. I thought "how sweet." I can't remember if he showed pictures, but I don't think so. Anyway, I couldn't get the thoughts of that little girl out of my mind. He already had 3 biological kids! I had never really thought of adoption as an option for a family that could have their "own" kids. I had always thought it was a great option for families who couldn't. So, I kind of casually mentioned it to Doug and he just laughed! Because of his initial reaction, I didn't really bring it up again (well, not for a long time).
I just remember for weeks after that, suddenly being very aware of little Chinese girls with non-Chinese parents around metro-Atlanta! Surely they had crossed my path before, but I had been quite unaware of it! Or, did they just arrive? I'm sure my awareness had been heightened! And it seemed that no matter what song I heard, somehow it took me back to the idea of adoption as an option for our family!
Fast forward to October, 2004. We were invited by a couple of band parents to attend a Christian concert at the Gwinnett arena -- guess who -- Steven Curtis Chapman. I did know that he had adopted again from China, but didn't really think much about that being a part of the concert. I was very unprepared for what was about to happen in my heart. Before the intermission, he began to share his family's story of their adoptions from China. How little girls are abandoned due to the preference for a male child, along with the government's one child policy. It was heartbreaking! I cried the entire time while he sang the song "When Love Takes You In" and showed a video of these little girls. I was really crying, not just teary! Doug looked at me and said, "You need to get a grip. It's almost intermission, and they are going to turn on the lights."
Just before the intermission, he (SCC) told of the foundation that he had established to help families out with the financial aspects of adoption. The foundation is called Shoahannah's Hope in honor of his first adopted daughter. He said that there would be an offering taken and all of the money would go toward families that are adopting. Still not sure how to handle his wife who is usually pretty strong, Doug looked at me kinda funny and said, "So, do you want to make a donation?" I looked at him thorough my puffy, swollen, red eyes and said, "No." He was surprised by my reaction and said, "Why not?" My reply was pretty quick, "Because I want to go get one!" At this he rolled his eyes... He didn't quite know how to handle his somewhat "fragile" wife!
Again, there they were --- little Chinese girls with American parents seemingly everywhere I went in the next few weeks. This time it was REALLY getting to me. In hindsight, maybe I'm just stubborn and wouldn't listen to God working on my heart! He would have to work some more...
Enter the picture, our new friends, Randi and Joel, in our SS class. They were in the process of adopting domestically. They would update us each Sunday of their roller coaster ride and how involved the process was. We were excited about their addition. The Sunday after that concert, Doug mentioned to Randi what had happened and what a wreck I was! He said that Lucy was going crazy over these little girls. Randi just smiled...
Meanwhile, Lauren was in Brownies at her school. In February, the time came to sell Girl Scout cookies (the highlight of the year). The mom (Sheryl) who took on the arduous job of "Cookie Mom" showed up with her little girl from CHINA! I asked her a few questions. She told me a little about their experience to adopt Linzi -- she also had 2 children of her "own". I must have mentioned that I would really consider doing this (adopting), but just wasn't sure. She offered to talk to me at any time, if I wanted...
So, by this time our friends Randi and Joel had their little girl, Shelbi Grace. We (Doug and I) started watching little Shelbi Grace grow (adopted as a newborn) and would even hold her occasionally in SS.
So that brings us to early in 2005... we occasionally "chat" about the idea of adoption (always from China), but "logic and reason" ourselves out of it. "Things are so easy with the girls now - they don't need a nap, they can walk all day at 6 Flags and ride everything" (isn't that what's important?), "another child would mean starting over with all the 'stuff'" "another child would mean another college tuition"... the list went on and on. I agreed with all of this, but there was still something there....
(I'll finish tomorrow)
I just remember for weeks after that, suddenly being very aware of little Chinese girls with non-Chinese parents around metro-Atlanta! Surely they had crossed my path before, but I had been quite unaware of it! Or, did they just arrive? I'm sure my awareness had been heightened! And it seemed that no matter what song I heard, somehow it took me back to the idea of adoption as an option for our family!
Fast forward to October, 2004. We were invited by a couple of band parents to attend a Christian concert at the Gwinnett arena -- guess who -- Steven Curtis Chapman. I did know that he had adopted again from China, but didn't really think much about that being a part of the concert. I was very unprepared for what was about to happen in my heart. Before the intermission, he began to share his family's story of their adoptions from China. How little girls are abandoned due to the preference for a male child, along with the government's one child policy. It was heartbreaking! I cried the entire time while he sang the song "When Love Takes You In" and showed a video of these little girls. I was really crying, not just teary! Doug looked at me and said, "You need to get a grip. It's almost intermission, and they are going to turn on the lights."
Just before the intermission, he (SCC) told of the foundation that he had established to help families out with the financial aspects of adoption. The foundation is called Shoahannah's Hope in honor of his first adopted daughter. He said that there would be an offering taken and all of the money would go toward families that are adopting. Still not sure how to handle his wife who is usually pretty strong, Doug looked at me kinda funny and said, "So, do you want to make a donation?" I looked at him thorough my puffy, swollen, red eyes and said, "No." He was surprised by my reaction and said, "Why not?" My reply was pretty quick, "Because I want to go get one!" At this he rolled his eyes... He didn't quite know how to handle his somewhat "fragile" wife!
Again, there they were --- little Chinese girls with American parents seemingly everywhere I went in the next few weeks. This time it was REALLY getting to me. In hindsight, maybe I'm just stubborn and wouldn't listen to God working on my heart! He would have to work some more...
Enter the picture, our new friends, Randi and Joel, in our SS class. They were in the process of adopting domestically. They would update us each Sunday of their roller coaster ride and how involved the process was. We were excited about their addition. The Sunday after that concert, Doug mentioned to Randi what had happened and what a wreck I was! He said that Lucy was going crazy over these little girls. Randi just smiled...
Meanwhile, Lauren was in Brownies at her school. In February, the time came to sell Girl Scout cookies (the highlight of the year). The mom (Sheryl) who took on the arduous job of "Cookie Mom" showed up with her little girl from CHINA! I asked her a few questions. She told me a little about their experience to adopt Linzi -- she also had 2 children of her "own". I must have mentioned that I would really consider doing this (adopting), but just wasn't sure. She offered to talk to me at any time, if I wanted...
So, by this time our friends Randi and Joel had their little girl, Shelbi Grace. We (Doug and I) started watching little Shelbi Grace grow (adopted as a newborn) and would even hold her occasionally in SS.
So that brings us to early in 2005... we occasionally "chat" about the idea of adoption (always from China), but "logic and reason" ourselves out of it. "Things are so easy with the girls now - they don't need a nap, they can walk all day at 6 Flags and ride everything" (isn't that what's important?), "another child would mean starting over with all the 'stuff'" "another child would mean another college tuition"... the list went on and on. I agreed with all of this, but there was still something there....
(I'll finish tomorrow)
Monday, May 01, 2006
Ally
On August 9, 2005 we made a big decision as a family: to travel half way around the world to adopt a daughter from China. We don't know when we will travel, but join us here for updates as we go through this long process...
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